So today is not only smelly Jessicka's birthday, but also marks the advent of me actually flirting--with reckless abandon--with not 1...not 2...but 4 different girls today at work. The Key??
It's called the "Subtle Suave". Ask D-Munny for details. Hahah.
My bro is going through some tough times...he misses his honeybunches of oats, because she is locked away in her room. I think she should just let down her hair all Rapunzel style, and they could have baskets of fun up there in the tower. What??? Her hair isn't long enough?? I don't think ya'll knows what hair I'm talking about.
I've been going to the beach a lot. I get a lot of whistles and hoots from old ladies. Cuz they think scrawny doods are hott. Which is cool, cuz I think old people are hott. So, I hoot back. HOOT.
I also went clothes shopping, which was great fun, because I usually spent my time foraging like a homeless man through the thrift stores, but this time, I went to Hollister. Which I must say, is the first time I've paid for quote-unquote "designer" clothes since sophomore year of high school...which was when Old Navy was the shizznit. And parachute pants. And...your mom.
Saturday...or wait...maybe tomorrow...fishsticks, I gotta find out. Anyway,
STRIPPER PARTY!!!
Yeah, this girl at work was like, "I'm a girl blahblahblahblah" and it was really incoherent but if you listen closer.....you can decipher what she's saying...
((I'm having a stripper party tomorrow.))
At this point, I was like, Wow...all this time, I wondered why these things only happened in my dreams...but now I know that you just have to actually listen to what comes out of girls' mouths to get to the good parts!!! Yeah I'm just joking, getoffme.
So anyway, I interjected "AND YOU DIDN'T INVITE ME????!!!"
I told her of my spectacular stripping abilities and she invited me.
Sooooooooooooooo................anyone wanna teach me how to strip?
I'll just teabag everyone. You know you like it.
